Christmas morning was almost perfect. A gentle start with none of the children awake before 7. We all gathered in the living room, a feat which involves rearranging furniture and pushing Smiley’s wheelchair up a couple of steps too, so is reserved for special occasions until I get my act together and make more of this house accessible. Anyway, back to Christmas. The presents were opened at a leisurely pace. Smiley loved the family time together, my eldest added the sweetest note ever with the present she gave to me and it was lovely to see her delight when she opened the surprise presents that I got for her. And my son was calm and happy with his presents.
Just some random thoughts from an over active brain:
How are some shops always advertising sales. Like Every. Single. Day. I’m looking at you Harvey Norman…
Why I can’t have a wheelchair for my daughter that has everything I think it needs. Like a pair of cup holders, lights or reflectors, a rain hood with a cut out for her face that doesn’t let the rain in (apart from that special kind of rain you get in Ireland that blows horizontally of course). Shopping net, small portable tray and with power steering so I don’t get so tired.
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Sometimes the death of someone you’ve never even met has a profound effect, and so it was this week with the passing of Andy Nimmo, husband of special needs blogger Steph Nimmo. For the past year, they have both been sharing some inspirational writing about living a good life with cancer and if you want to remember how to celebrate life, I recommend reading Steph’s blog Was This In The Plan.
More reasons here
So smacking has been banned in Ireland. And I approve. It wasn’t part of my parenting plan: it just made me angry and resentful as a child, and I agree with all the other arguments against it too. But I know parent who do smack, and who believe that it is their right , and that sometimes it is the only thing that works. I wonder what they will do now. I suspect many will continue, just not in public.
I also suspect that most of the people who support the smacking ban have no experience of children who behave in ways that push their parents beyond their limits.
That includes another taboo topic – children who are sometimes violent. The Irish charity Parentline has reported an increase in child on parent violence in recent years, but there is little coverage and even less being done to help families in this situation.
Smacking is NOT the answer to this problem either. At least in my opinion.
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Another week of crazy ups and downs. Thursday morning found me sobbing on the shoulder of Smiley’s bus driver at 9.15 in the morning, as nosy rat-running commuters stared out through their fogged up windows to enjoy the show. Totes embarassballs as I might say if I was 30 years younger. Twelve hours later I was in the pub enjoying this with a great bunch of special needs mammies from my daughter’s club, which made me feel very cheerful indeed.
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I’m just wondering.
Do your teenagers help clear the table and load the dishwasher?
Do they play video games and watch TV, while you shout encourage them to do their homework?
Do you collapse on the couch with a cup of tea or a glass of wine, feet up, deep sigh and relax?
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